My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?


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Etsomnia™ 102: Deep Pockets

$250,000. Million dollar tee. I guess it must be on clearance.

$250,000. Million dollar tee. I guess it must be on clearance.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) Continue reading


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Etsomnia™ 101: Why? Because Etsy

"Hair ball by famous artist."

This listing is called “Hair ball by famous artist.” I think maybe they should define “famous,” and, for that matter, “artist.”

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ 99: Exotica

The materials listed for these shorts are leather and exotic. So there you go.

The materials listed for these shorts are leather and exotic. They forgot to mention the main material, ugly.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

“Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic!” -Annie Savoy in Bull Durham

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Much Loved

Pink Teddy looks like I feel. Photo and caption above by Mark Nixon

It’s hard to believe I’m writing another one of these awful notes, and only a week after the last one. I don’t recognize this world. I don’t know where all this hate and violence is coming from. Leaving the analysis and problem solving to bigger brains than mine, I’m going to just keep on keeping on with the beautiful things and hope that some day soon we don’t need them quite so much.  Wishing us all better days. ❤

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Etsomnia™ 96: Short Story

shorts 1

If crocheted shorts are actually becoming a thing, I’m moving to Antartica where no shorts are worn until the siege passes.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ 95: Under the Sea

I have no words.

How much do you want to bet this girl  has a lot of these?

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ 93: ‘Murica

Butterflies, now with more America!

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ 92: Daddy Issues

Happy Father’s Day, Dad! Here’s what I think of you! This “Upcycled” suitcase medicine cabinet may be my best Etsy find of all time.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only.  Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.

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Etsomnia™ 91: Pirates’ Booty!

Now here's something you don't see every day! Pirate chiminea by UniqueBurners

Now here’s something you don’t see every day! Amazing pirate chiminea by UniqueBurners

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only.  Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.

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Etsomnia™ Volume 90: (Un)Wearable Art

Elephant wearable art vest by a maker who I can only assume is in third grade

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only.  Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.

Continue reading


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Etsomnia™ Volume 88: The White Album

I am really intrigued by the fake mustaches marching across the chest. By WomenSStyleS

As bad as it all is, I am most intrigued by the fake mustaches marching across the chest. 

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Late Afternoon Belly Laugh!

While I ate my lunch today, I listened to Stephen Colbert’s Talks at Google interview. It was all really good, but his answer to the last question asked culminated in a story so hilarious I had to stop eating for fear of choking to death. If you have the time, give the whole interview a listen. If you don’t, here’s his answer to a question about why he chose comedy.

WARNING: Do not eat or drink during this video.

Epilogue: I just went in to use the bathroom at work and the story popped into my head. It started me uncontrollably laugh-crying all over again. I may be asked to leave the premises very soon.