My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?


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Etsomnia™ 113: Haunted* House

Somebody pass me the bug spray.

Somebody pass me the bug spray.

*Haunted by bad taste, primarily

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

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Etsomnia™ 112: Lunatic Fringe

This poor soul can't even figure out how to work fringe. On the other hand, he also couldn't remember pants, so maybe he's just not that bright.

This poor soul can’t even figure out how to work his stupid shirt. On the other hand, he also couldn’t remember pants, so maybe there’s a pattern emerging.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

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Etsomnia™ 110: Hell’s Kitchen

This is a kitchen angel dish towel. She's meant to keep your kitchen safe, presumably from people with taste.

This is a kitchen angel dish towel. She’s meant to keep your kitchen safe, presumably by warding off people with taste.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ 109: Crooked

asym-3

Elephant Man party of one, your table is ready.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) Continue reading


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Etsomnia™ 107: Put on Your Big Girl Pants

pants-1

If a teardrop tattoo means that you murdered someone, I shudder to think what a teardrop on the seat of your pants would mean…

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
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The Poopocalypse

poop

Jesse Newton

I need something funny. Do you need something funny? Good. Here it is.

Maybe funny is the wrong word. It’s only funny to me because it didn’t happen to me. Let’s just call it entertaining with a happy ending. (No, not that. Get your minds out of the gutter. Honestly, you people…)

So, last week, something pretty tragic happened in our household. It’s taken me until now to wrap my head around it…

Posted by Jesse Newton on Tuesday, August 9, 2016


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Etsomnia™ 106: Derpocalypse Now

The twins looked at each other in horror. She wanted to put her feet WHERE?!?

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ 105: Bad Hair Day

That ought to keep the perverts away!

I can’t decide. Do you think wearing this barrette would discourage subway frottage, or attract it?

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ 104: Sheer Madness

These super-stylish pants are made of 100% nope.

These super-stylish pants are made of 100% nope.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) Continue reading