Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) Continue reading
Category Archives: Etsomnia™
Etsomnia™ 99: Exotica

The materials listed for these shorts are leather and exotic. They forgot to mention the main material, ugly.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
“Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic!” -Annie Savoy in Bull Durham
Etsomnia™ 98: D.I.Why?

D.I.Y. embroidery kit. Do you know what else starts with N? Nope.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ 97: What a Beach!

Bathing Bad
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ 96: Short Story

If crocheted shorts are actually becoming a thing, I’m moving to Antartica where no shorts are worn until the siege passes.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ 95: Under the Sea

How much do you want to bet this girl has a lot of these?
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ 94: Rainbows and Peace

It’s not that I don’t find it hilarious (I do) or that the makers aren’t in on the joke (They are). It’s that I’ve reached an age where people might think I’m serious. By GoodieTees
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ 93: ‘Murica

Butterflies, now with more America!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ 92: Daddy Issues

Happy Father’s Day, Dad! Here’s what I think of you! This “Upcycled” suitcase medicine cabinet may be my best Etsy find of all time.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only. Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.
Etsomnia™ 91: Pirates’ Booty!

Now here’s something you don’t see every day! Amazing pirate chiminea by UniqueBurners
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only. Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.
Etsomnia™ Volume 90: (Un)Wearable Art

Elephant wearable art vest by a maker who I can only assume is in third grade
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only. Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.
Etsomnia™ Volume 89: Bringing Up Baby

Story time: My daughter once loaded up her diaper so enthusiastically, poop shot up her back and bounced off her head. Mercifully, the cleanup is a blur (at one point we were both in the bathtub crying), but I’m sure I didn’t stop to shape the stuff into bunny ears.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only. Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.
Etsomnia™ Volume 88: The White Album

As bad as it all is, I am most intrigued by the fake mustaches marching across the chest.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 87: Election Fever

Just your basic Trump fan brooch featuring GOOD GOD, IS THAT HUMAN HAIR???
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 86: I’ll Drink to That!

This is the “Johnny Walker Liquor Cart.” To quote Megan Trainor, “NO.”
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 85: Festival!

“Jane Austen Eco Chic.” Because wearing actual feces to the festival is frowned upon.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) Continue reading
Etsomnia™ Volume 84: Wanderlust!

“The Traveling Suitcase,” an art piece which, in spite of its $1,000 price tag, is not for sale. The artist may have missed the point of Etsy
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 83: Let’s Get Physical

Word. By PurebredFitness
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 82: When Irish Eyes are Smirking
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
“May Siri be able to decipher your slurred requests for bar locations this St. Patrick’s Day.”
-SomeECards“And may you not throw up in your Uber.” -Me
Etsomnia™ Volume 81: Tiny Thank Yous

Confession time: I bought this to give as a gift to the lady at Caesarstone who helped me out on the phone last week, but when it arrived, it was too cute to give away. By PaintingsbyChelseaJ
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)


