My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?


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Etsomnia™ 144: Rainbow Nope

Classic first pride mistake: It’s strictly one rainbow per customer, kids. I appreciate her enthusiasm, though!

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


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Etsomnia™ 143: Mermaid Season!

Don’t know if the things around her waist are floaties or breasts, but either way, she’s going to have trouble staying submerged.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


18 Comments

Etsomnia™ 141: Getting the Cold Shoulder

You’re wearing this wrong. You should take it off, turn it around, then THROW IT AWAY.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

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14 Comments

Etsomnia™ 140: Playing With Fire

Really beautiful work, but all I can see is this. By TheFirePitGallery

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


34 Comments

Etsomnia™ 139: WTF Volume III

That’s one helluva pre-existing condition.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


23 Comments

Etsomnia™ 138: Kentucky Derpy!

Perhaps the most meta Etsy item ever, a Derby hat… for your horse! By the always-wonderful MyBuddyBling

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


16 Comments

Etsomnia™ 137: May the 4th Be With You

Yoda’s 23andMe genetic profile came as quite a surprise

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


45 Comments

Etsomnia™ 136: Sleeping Around

How any children were conceived in the sixties is beyond me. If the wearer of this thing got pregnant, it could only be because her husband wanted her to take the blighted thing off.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


34 Comments

Etsomnia™ 135: Fascination

Not sure about the design, but the model is really selling the message.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


35 Comments

Etsomnia™ 134: Throwing Shade

The description says ‘coffin dweller,’ but I think they look more ‘parents’ basement dweller.’

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


25 Comments

Etsomnia™ 133: Style…ish

Q. What color are those shorts?
A. Camel Taupe (If the joke doesn’t hit you, try saying it aloud)

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


17 Comments

Etsomnia™ 131: It’s Curtains!

This is a “valance” which I suspect smells like “skunk.”

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


12 Comments

Etsomnia™ 129: Fiber “Arts”

If nothing else, you have to respect its self awareness.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


8 Comments

Etsomnia 128™: Red Carpet Season

There were a lot of political statements made at this year's Oscars. Maybe this lady is protesting the Great Pacific Garbage Patch

There were a lot of political statements made at this year’s Oscars. Maybe this lady is protesting the Great Pacific Garbage Patch I wrote about last week.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


14 Comments

Etsomnia™ 127: Not Strictly Ballroom

ball-1

Me, Tarzan. You, Snooki.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading