
Irene Malakhova

At least we know what it’s made of…
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
I know. You’re still trying to get the glitter from your Halloween costume out of your eyebrows, and here I am, hitting you with holiday nonsense. But we now shop in a truly global marketplace, and shipping time can be upward of 6 weeks, so I figured we’d better get started. And anyway, nothing gets glitter out of eyebrows but time, so you may as well check this out while you wait. Continue reading →

Materials: old lace, plastic bats, doily addiction, disembodied foot. This positively screams Pinterest fail!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
My friends, I have never done this before, and I’m not likely to do it again. But today’s beautiful thing is among the most beautiful I’ve ever found, yet it’s woefully under-loved.
To those of you who looked at it and though “12 minutes? No way!” I beg you to reconsider. It will be 12 minutes you won’t want to get back. I promise. Give it a try. Enjoy 12 minutes of peace. How rare is that these days?

Item: Kraken Pirate Bed
Price: $14,000
Reason: Because I want my grandkids to love me most