My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?


45 Comments

Etsomnia™ 136: Sleeping Around

How any children were conceived in the sixties is beyond me. If the wearer of this thing got pregnant, it could only be because her husband wanted her to take the blighted thing off.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


34 Comments

Etsomnia™ 135: Fascination

Not sure about the design, but the model is really selling the message.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


35 Comments

Etsomnia™ 134: Throwing Shade

The description says ‘coffin dweller,’ but I think they look more ‘parents’ basement dweller.’

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


25 Comments

Etsomnia™ 133: Style…ish

Q. What color are those shorts?
A. Camel Taupe (If the joke doesn’t hit you, try saying it aloud)

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


16 Comments

Etsomnia™ 132: Trunk Show

elephant 2

Though mommy would never say who her daddy was, Beatrice still had her suspicions…

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


17 Comments

Etsomnia™ 131: It’s Curtains!

This is a “valance” which I suspect smells like “skunk.”

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


16 Comments

Etsomnia™ 130: Spring Forward

spring 1

Ah, yes. The traditional Spring rabbit rectum!

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


12 Comments

Etsomnia™ 129: Fiber “Arts”

If nothing else, you have to respect its self awareness.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


8 Comments

Etsomnia 128™: Red Carpet Season

There were a lot of political statements made at this year's Oscars. Maybe this lady is protesting the Great Pacific Garbage Patch

There were a lot of political statements made at this year’s Oscars. Maybe this lady is protesting the Great Pacific Garbage Patch I wrote about last week.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


14 Comments

Etsomnia™ 127: Not Strictly Ballroom

ball-1

Me, Tarzan. You, Snooki.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


8 Comments

Etsomnia™ 126: Be Mine?!?

She may be thinking of you, but those are not fond thoughts.

Jack White may be thinking of you, but those don’t look to me like happy thoughts.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


4 Comments

Etsomnia™ 125: Indisposed

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


23 Comments

Etsomnia™ 124: Resort

Erm, nice pineapples?

Hope you like grilled pineapple, because this girl looks like she is going to buuuuurn.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


20 Comments

Etsomnia™ 123: OOAK

Where did clowns shop before Etsy?

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


32 Comments

Etsomnia™ 122: The Unwearables

Someone left my face out in the rain...

Very handy if you live too close to a sewage plant or spend any time around teenage boys.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading


33 Comments

Etsomnia™ 121: Hot Date

I get that calendars are sometimes very specific, but shirtless men and rabbits?

I understand that calendars can be very specific, but shirtless men and rabbits feels more like a weird fetish than a niche. Then again, maybe I missed a trend.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


16 Comments

Etsomnia™ 120: Wrap It Up

Kanye on one side, Kim on the other. How would you ever decide? It's like the Sophie's Choice of wrapping paper

Kanye on one side, Kim on the other. How would you decide? It’s like the Sophie’s Choice of wrapping paper. And I’m sorry to report it’s not the only Kim Kardashian holiday paper.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


12 Comments

Etsomnia™ 119: You’re the Top

Nevermind Elf on the Shelf. Want to keep the kiddies in line? Try this thing.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


16 Comments

Etsomnia™ 118: Four Large!

Numbered Al Hirshfeld print of Marilyn Monroe sold by BlkBttrflyDsgns

Oh, how I love this Signed Numbered Al Hirshfeld print of Marilyn Monroe sold by BlkBttrflyDsgns

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


13 Comments

Etsomnia™ 117: Hold That Pose 2

I don’t mean to sound like a know-it-all, but I have had arms most of my life, and she is doing it wrong.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading