I went looking for the ugliest vintage lamp on Etsy, and when I saw this thing, I knew my search was over. $85 “Rustic” fish lamp.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Vin·tage /ˈvin-tij/ noun. 1. a period in which something was made or was begun. 2. your old crap which you manage to sell to someone else. See also Garbage.
Category Archives: Etsomnia™
Etsomnia™ Volume XXIV: Decoupage Madness
Decoupaged “Reimagined Stiletto Boot Handbag” whose maker suffers from a slight Pat Benatar fetish.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
De·cou·page (/dāko͞oˈpäZH/), noun, 1. the art or craft of decorating objects with paper cut-outs. 2. gluing junk on other junk.
Thursday is Etsomnia day! (I really feel like that needs a jingle. Don’t you think?)
Etsomnia™ Volume XXIII: Upcycled?!?
A mere $6,279.04 will put this “upcycled” entry mirror near your door. I’m guessing it’s intended to scare away visitors.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Happy New Year! It’s time for the first Etsomnia of 2015!
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Etsomnia™ Volume XXII: A Leg to Stand On
Unless you’re married to a cop, I don’t recommend wearing these on a date. (I bought three pairs.) By Komawo
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
I decided that Etsy critique didn’t feel right on Christmas day, so Etsomnia day is coming a little early this week!
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Etsomnia™ Volume XXI: Hold that Pose!
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
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Etsomnia™ Volume XX: Bad Gift Edition!
Nightmare-inducing clown decanter. The seller calls it a “Great Christmas Gift”
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
“Thanks, I’d rather just have coal.”
Etsomnia™ Volume XIX: ET(somnia) Phone Home
Super-classy iPhone dock and drinks holder. (Rusting trailer and yard full of car parts not included.)
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Happy Thursday! It’s Etsomnia time once again. Continue reading
Etsomnia™ Volume XVIII: Happy Holidays?
If this doesn’t put you in the holiday spirit, you are clearly dead inside. Or have better taste.
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Happy Friday! Etsomnia may be a day late, but I think it was worth the wait.
Etsomnia™ Volume XVII: Art Show
“Hippy Mixed Media Collage Art”
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
“If we could but paint with the hand what we see with the eye.” -Honore de Balzac
Etsomnia™ Volume XVI: Making a Mis-Statement
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Statement necklaces are this goofy trend that suggests you can casually pair the crown jewels with a t-shirt and dirty sweatpants and magically look effortlessly chic (see picture right, which is definitely NOT me). Continue reading
Etsomnia™ Volume XV: The Wedding Issue!
Enjoy your special day! Gratuitously voluminous silk dress on gratuitously sulky model.
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Etsomnia™ Volume XIV: Knit-Wits
Sir, go home and put on an undershirt, preferably over the “shark” cardigan. That thing’s hideous.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
New York sweater weather always inspires me to go hunting. Continue reading
Etsomnia™ Volume XIII: Fancy Dress Party!!
When it comes to costumes, there’s no excuse for lazy.
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Etsomnia™ Volume XVI: Dog Daze
You may recall this doghouse from the Wee Edition of Etsomnia™. It got me thinking. By Jumahl
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx
Etsomnia™ Volume XV: Hat-Shit Crazy
For all of you ecologically-conscious pimps out there, here’s a green faux fur creation. (To be fair, most of this maker’s hats are lovely. Just not this one.)
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
“A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.” – P.J. O’Rourke
Etsomnia™ Volume XIV: Industrial Chic
Epic bridge-inspired coffee table by LiquidMetalworksNJ
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep. Continue reading
Etsomnia™ Volume XII: Things to Hang* Yourself With
Fantastic skill combined with atrocious taste.
*Please don’t.
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
During my search for the Etsy disasters and desirables in last week’s Fail Edition, I came across such an embarrassment of tragic neckwear, I decided they needed their own Etsomnia™ post. Continue reading
Etsomnia™ Volume XI: Fail is in the Air?
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Okay, I might have doctored this a little. However, the sideways kidney was already there.“No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.” ― John Donne, who should prepare to be disappointed
Etsomnia™ Volume X: Project No Way
Welcome to Cracker Barrel. May I take your order? Vintage Oscar de la Renta ensemble which I consider proof positive that Oscar dabbled in some pretty hardcore illegal substances back in the day. Sold by the surprisingly self aware FabulousMessVintage
I need a frock. Let the hilarity ensue.
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Etsomnia™ Volume IX: For the Kids
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Trippy-and-wonderful color wheel puzzle by ThePuzzledOne
Me: (to niece) Riley, how old are you?
Riley (with a New York accent): Tewww
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My OBT 