*Translation: Oh My God, Prom!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
*Translation: Oh My God, Prom!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

When you care enough to give the very least. By RubysRubbish, who clearly has some mommy issues to work out
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

Perhaps the largest fascinator in the history of fascination. By my hero BWerson74, who offers many fabulous / crazy hat choices
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

Not for the overly sensitive knocked up ladies. By UnhingedDesigns
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

Plaid flannel “Power Business Suit.” Maybe if you worked here.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

The ultimate international item: Netherlands souvenir, shipped from the U.S., and made in . . . let’s say it together . . . China.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

You know some bone-head is going to use this to propose to his girl. A proposal is no time to make a bad joke, and THIS DOES NOT COUNT AS A TWO CARAT RING!!!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
DEAR PORN HUNTERS: Don’t let the “XXX” in the title fool you. Unless you are planning on proposing to some lucky* girl, you have come to the wrong place. Sorry for the confusion. Happy hunting!
*individual results may vary
-The Management

Just your basic awesome Madonna narwhal. By HayleyCassatt, who has kind of a narwhal fetish
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
DEAR PORN HUNTERS: In spite of the suggestively-dressed narwhal at right, you have come to the wrong place. The “XXX” in the title is merely a roman numeral. Sorry to have excited you unduly. See you next week, when the narwhal will be replaced with a similarly titillating picture of a toilet paper cosy or something.

3/1/14 To Blog or Not to Blog
I did it! I managed at least one post every single day for an entire year. Continue reading →

I never seem to have anything appropriate to wear on St. P’s Day. Maybe this year, I should get myself one of these. By NoSleevesNoProblems
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

It’s hard to think of this psychedelic romper as sexy when the model is sitting like she’s trying to sneak one out. It’s also hard to think of it as sexy because it’s stupid and makes her look like a giant toddler.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Warning: NSFWOCOMR*
*Not Safe For Work or Children or My Relatives

Those cherubs are looking suspiciously buxom, and their gold lamé boy shorts are reminding me of Peter Hinwood’s Rocky Horror costume. That’s too much irony, even for me.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
When you care enough to send the very best?
Continue reading →

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s an edible baby! This listing claims it’s “the Perfect I LOVE you gift for your love one.” If your “love one” is the witch from Hansel & Gretel, maybe.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Happy Thursday! It’s time for a Very Special Episode of Etsomnia! Continue reading →

Oh, no! You’re all dressed for your wedding but you just realized your bladder is full! What to do? Have no fear. Etsy to the rescue!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Has this ever happened to you?
I went looking for the ugliest vintage lamp on Etsy, and when I saw this thing, I knew my search was over. $85 “Rustic” fish lamp.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Vin·tage /ˈvin-tij/ noun. 1. a period in which something was made or was begun. 2. your old crap which you manage to sell to someone else. See also Garbage.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
De·cou·page (/dāko͞oˈpäZH/), noun, 1. the art or craft of decorating objects with paper cut-outs. 2. gluing junk on other junk.
Thursday is Etsomnia day! (I really feel like that needs a jingle. Don’t you think?)